Reflection

What are we thinking about when we think about computers? What is more intriguing, what do we think when we use computers? What is going through our minds when we tap into the vast (yet limited) realm of something that doesn't physically exist...a man made fate of wasted time and entertainment of "living" as another.

The Sims, a computer game that allows a user to establish a residence, a lifestyle, and even a family, takes computer gaming to a new level of unproductive. Gaining points in stamina, logic, and strength acts as an innocent thief to those blind to their own productivity of the things they wish to attain by the clicking of a mouse.

The residence of a Sims user is constructed from the ground up. No money to build? No worries! There are bound to be some "cheats" or codes to attain vast amounts of money that one can find through a search engine. When the money rolls in, expensive brick is not out of reach. The biggest, best, prettiest furniture is not too far-fetched to attain! Sound familiar? Remember the Matrix scene where Neo says, "We need guns...lots of guns," and an infinite number of firearms come rolling in? Have we made our own man made Matrix?

As we blankly look upon a screen, our minds are the only things at work (and maybe our mouse fingers)...much like the scenario The Matrix gives us. Time holds no boundaries. We get lost in the hours of improving a make-believe, non-existent character that is only a visual construct of what we've created with our imaginations and options available through the time-consuming computer game.

How different is The Matrix? People sit in their bubble in a different time as they work for something that is imaginary and only in their mind. It is a view of something that doesn't even exist. The Matrix isn't physical. It may feel like one was living while in The Matrix, but in reality their real bodies were almost lifeless...hooked into a machine.

The Sims will allow us to see that our characters, constructed and controlled via a machine, “react” emotionally to different scenarios. The characters can fall in love, get depressed, show joy, get angry, and do things out of the ordinary. These “passionate” simulations of people reveal the humanlike reactions that games have been programmed to give. Without it, how involved would we become in the game play? Maybe characters on the Sims should all be named Hal.

Speaking of Hal, 2001: A Space Odyssey, has a character that is not a person, but a computer. The computer has a mission: to fulfill its mission, no matter what the cost…even if it means taking human life. Hal was a machine with what most would consider real, raw emotion. The way he reacts to situations is probably why AMC played 2001: A Space Odyssey during a marathon of horror films. A computer with emotions strikes fear into the hearts of many. The more human a machine becomes, the more frightening it becomes. While The Sims isn’t literally killing people, it is killing time. While fixed eyes stare at a constructed character working out, the user is slowly but surely getting a little soggy in the muscle area. Productivity for the machine is counter-productive as purposeful and useful time is wasted at the turn of the hour hand of the clock. As long as we are in control of the machine, we feel safe.

What about when we are not in control of the machines? I remember the popular hit toy and frustrating menace of a machine. I like to call this annoyance “Furby.” Furby, the furry toy that had no “off” button, no switch to disengage the machine from its idle babbling and meaningless chatter, was, what I am convinced to be, the revolutionary idea that will lead to Arnold Schwarzenegger machines called “Terminators.” Where is the off switch? When do the batteries run out?


Blade Runner, aside from Terminator, is another film that revealed the danger of creating a self sustaining machine that “thinks” for itself. When we lose control, as humans did with the cyborgs and replicants, we find ourselves in a mess that we caused and we try to clean it up. In Terminator, it was just trying to keep judgment day from occurring as self sustaining machines attempted to destroy the world. Replicants, on the other hand, were assembled to “die” after having a very short life, as they began rebelling against their creators. This seems to happen every time an “ERROR!” message comes on the screen on a desktop or laptop computer. The rebellion!

Not knowing the difference in human and computer is another alien thing to us. As Turkle spoke about the chat rooms where machines were responding to people, it makes one wonder, has a conversation sparked between two computers that has yet to be resolved? Have they been speaking in circles for days? Weeks? Months? Years? Will we ever discover if such communication exists between computers? Or do we really have control over them? Have we lost control of a machine when chat rooms are filled with computers being hit on by creepy single men. Is it punishment? Or maybe it is a distraction from keeping creepy people away from children or potential victims that are innocently strolling through the web.

In conclusion, when we look at a computer, do we see ourselves? Do we see our achievements and the great accomplishments of man? Or do we see our destruction, whether in the future in a Terminator manner, or will we look back on our lives and see the time we have wasted sitting at a machine? Are our futures destroyed due to a lack of productivity? Are we watching a fantasy life on the screen as we play The Sims, or are we living, outside of a connection with a machine? The question isn’t if there life on the screen. The question is, when we look at the screen, do we see our reflection or do we carry another identity? Do we become someone different when we hook into the machine? I believe many do.

Did Bush See the Rise of Emo Kids Blogging?

Upon reading the two pieces of literature by inventor and visionary, Vannavar Bush, and infamous author, Nathaniel Hawthorne, a new light has been shed on what is known now as the internet. Bush was only predicting what would have been and Hawthorne wrote about what already has become. Predictions of the technology of the future were frightfully accurate, while Hawthorne reminisced about what we consider old technology. What do we wish for? Information? If information is power then Bush must be the side I’m leaning towards. Actually, to my own surprise, even though I am an avid internet user, with Myspace, Facebook, Youtube and Musicians Friend. If it wasn’t for the internet I wouldn’t know how to play guitar or stay in touch with friends that otherwise I wouldn’t. But what is more intimate among friends? Face to face communication or emoticons? Has the lack of face to face contact warped our sense of social behavior? Our methods of communicating may seem relevant and suitable for us in this ever evolving world, but how would it look to those who didn’t grow up with the internet? We are the generation that would have crazy men come into our classrooms and explain these radical theories about how every job available would have a need for computer skills. These were modern day Vannevars but were not as excited about the future but rather scared for his job and the job security of the older workforce in America. Maybe those crazy men had a point, though their theories were not so far fetched (or as distant in the future like Vannevar’s predictions). Needless to say, the generation evolved with the technology. Has communication in the society evolved with it, as the wood stove brought a new separation? I believe so.

Blogging can be a beautiful thing in the right manner. Blogging is a term so new that my Microsoft Word underlines it with squiggly red lines because it “isn’t a word” according to the version of Word I am using…yet! Again, the evolution of technology has brought an evolution to our speech. I have blogs on Myspace but prefer not to tell the world every little thing that is going on in my life. I believe this is what puts me on the side of Nathaniel Hawthorne. The world doesn’t need to know every little detail in my life. It isn’t from the world that I receive affirmation or intimacy. It isn’t the world that I try to make have pity on me, as some using blogging as a means of throwing a pity party. Have we become so shallow that we are without friends to talk to? Have we grown so apart from our families that the secrets of our lives have been posted to the world, yet our parents (in their state of what most consider computer-illiteracy) are oblivious to? We may have hundreds upon hundreds of Facebook friends or Myspace friends but how many people anymore really know us? How many people can we confide in face to face? Are we so ashamed of ourselves or our situations that we have brought our social norms into the kiddy pool? Have we fallen in the shallowness of texts, comments, messages, blogs, and e-mail to describe our problems to one another so that the next time we see the person we have communicated with our reaction is, “What blog?”

I know blogs have been a means for emo kids to tell the world how sorry we should feel for them. They complain to the very world that really isn’t their friend about how they have no friends. Isn’t that a little backwards? Who is their friend? Myspace? The fickle emotions of high school guys who don’t have anything better to do than to write depressing poems about themselves before their mom drops them off at soccor practice.

For example, this is a typical example of what an emo poem would look like:

“I have nothing to live for

The sky is black like my soul

An empty void where the darkness takes its toll

And here I sit all alone

I had a bad day at school and now I am going to the football game to hang out with nobody that likes me. : /

Comment if you want. Whatever.”

This is what I read:

“I want you to feel sorry for me tonight. I like to wear black clothes so people think I’m a dark, depressed, deep thinking person. I am alone at my computer while my mom does my laundry and while dad is working to provide food and shelter for the family. I asked a girl out at school today and she said, “No.” It feels like the end of the world so I guess I’ll let Mom take me to the football game in her BMW and drop me off. That way I can try to throw my pity party in the stands, as I look depressed while our team wins. Leave a comment about how sorry you feel for me and how that girl doesn’t deserve me. Love me, make me feel good and affirm me. Because whether you do or don’t, I’m getting attention from people and I will still continue to wear all black clothes so you will continue to think I’m a dark, depressed poet and philosopher (who doesn’t even have his driver’s permit yet).”

Even though the above was a fabricated blog, it is a typical blog of a freshman in high school. It’s amazing what information you can gather from just a few words written by a fifteen/sixteen year old. I know people that are like that. They complain on the computer when nothing in their life is lacking. They have parents that love them and provide for them, they live in a nice neighborhood, have nice things, clothes on their body, a roof over their head, food on the table, and a nice car in the driveway. Yet when the internet came about, something happened to the reality around them. They began to sit on the computer by themselves for so long and analyze every “problem” in their lives. This moment of “enlightenment” came at the computer desk. So where do they go to “express themselves?” Why the internet, of course!

Hawthorne was right when he spoke of the threat technology held against society. When you observe the internet, you see that communication has a lack of intimacy. Pen and paper isn’t quicker. Physical mail isn’t quicker than e-mail. It takes more work, more man power, and it’s more expensive with postage. But there’s something unique about a person’s handwriting. It’s something that no font could capture. Every individual has a different way of writing and it shows time, effort, and thought put into a personalized letter vs. “hey” on AIM. (Notice the “hey” wasn’t even grammatically correct…no period or capitalization.)

In closing, blogging has a fine line that needs to be drawn, along with the rest of the internet. As Hawthorne noticed that there was no gathering around the stove like the open hearth, there is a separation of communication among family. So it is with the internet and blogging. Except now the world can know our thoughts but the families are ignorant to what is happening in our life. Where is the line drawn? I personally use blogging to share my thoughts on different topics. I don’t post my life story, my woes and sorrows, or my joys. I rather tell it in person. At least a phone call! Blogging isn’t the enemy as the stove wasn’t the enemy. Rather it is the pressure we give in to as a society to communicate…or rather not communicate.

The Day I Found Carmen Sandiego

Between 1st and 5th grade, I stared at a computer screen learning how to type the same combinations of letters over...and over...and over... and all I could think about was when the typing would be over. 2nd grade I was introduced to the game "Prime Munchers" where one would attempt to eliminate the prime numbers. The mere thought of "Prime Munchers," to this day, brings back a spectrum of grand memories of my little fingers punching the arrow keys and the space bar. But not as much as Oregon Trail. In 5th grade, after months of traveling, but mainly hunting for buffalo, I finally completed my trek to Oregon!

My grandmother, oddly enough, acquired a computer before my family. Keep in mind, this was before every home had one. But as she used it for e-mail and practicing typing, I used it for creativity. Microsoft Paint gave me a new way of doing art and Microsoft Word gave me a means of writing. Though many may believe that I'm not a geek at all, but rather a sexy rock star, I have had my moments. In short, I typed a 150 page science fiction story when I was in the sixth grade. But that's for another time.

The internet didn't come until we had our very own computer...with Windows 98! Christmas 1998 my parents got the family a computer! Our very first...The infamous Gateway Astro! To my eyes it was beautiful! Our first ISP (internet service provider) was Earthlink because I watched a lot of ZD TV...and they said it was good. We thought it was too slow so we went with Compuserve. It was better for a couple of years. We finally made the switch to Charter and have been satisfied ever since.

I grew in interest of being a video game designer. In the 8th grade (through a connection) I received Wil Wright's e-mail. In case you are not familar, Wil Wright is the creator of "Sim City" and "The Sims." I sent him some artwork and a message about how I want to become a game designer.  To my surprise, he wrote me back!  That meant a lot to an eighth grader with big, geeky dreams.

My cousin was always brilliant with a computer so he showed me how to download music.  My very first downloaded song was "Never Let You Go," by Third Eye Blind.  I never used Napster but rather WinMX.

My internet life was never the same once I discovered the beauty of Facebook, quickly followed by Myspace.  Myspace gave me an outlet to write as I stumbled across the art of blogging.  As I began recording music I found myself creating five more Myspace accounts!  One for my electric guitar project, one for my acoustic project, worship project, electronica project, and one for my band, Young and Running.  With the new music also came Purevolume accounts, which broadened our spectrum of potential listeners.

The internet, for me, has been a great medium for communicating and advertising.  In some ways, life became easier.  In other ways, more frustrating.  There is a demand in everyday life to connect online in one way or another.  A new dependence has emerged, whether most want to admit it or not.